And I
had not the suspicion of a thought of injuring any one. Fool! fool!
egregious fool that I was! I who understood most things so clearly did
not guess that no creature, no being in the universe--god, or man, or
beast--can indulge in arrogant, full, magnificent enjoyment without
gathering and living in himself, squandering through himself, the lives
of others, to their eternal loss and his own final ruin! But, as I said,
I did not think, and it was not evident until recently, that I injured
any one. I had for a long time been aware that I had an unusual mesmeric
or magnetic influence--call it what you will--over others. I cultivated
that power in eye and hand, so that I was soon able to take any person
at unawares whom I considered fit for my purpose, and subdue him or her
completely to myself. Then after one or two failures I hit upon a
method, which I perfected at length into entire simplicity, by which I
was able to tap the nervous system and draw into myself as much as ever
I needed of the abounding force of life, without leaving any sign which
even the most skilful doctor could detect.
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