'Bring them
to me; I cannot take your word for that,' said he. 'Then I will
consider.' The next day I came charged with my certificates, a
humble assortment. And when he had satisfied himself, 'Remember,'
said he, 'that I can promise nothing, but I will try to find a form
of words.' He did find one, and I am still ashamed when I think of
his shame in giving me that paper. He made no reproach in speech,
but his manner was the more eloquent; it told me plainly what a
dirty business we were on; and I went from his presence, with my
certificate indeed in my possession, but with no answerable sense
of triumph. That was the bitter beginning of my love for Fleeming;
I never thought lightly of him afterwards.
Once, and once only, after our friendship was truly founded, did we
come to a considerable difference. It was, by the rules of poor
humanity, my fault and his. I had been led to dabble in society
journalism; and this coming to his ears, he felt it like a disgrace
upon himself. So far he was exactly in the right; but he was
scarce happily inspired when he broached the subject at his own
table and before guests who were strangers to me.
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