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Reade, Charles, 1814-1884

"Peg Woffington"

In
vain!
Mrs. Triplet came down, and essayed the blandishments of the softer sex.
In vain! And, as there were no assets, the postman marched off down the
road.
Mrs. Triplet glided after him like an assassin, beckoning on Triplet, who
followed, doubtful of her designs. Suddenly (truth compels me to relate
this) she seized the obdurate official from behind, pinned both his arms
to his side, and with her nose furiously telegraphed her husband.
He, animated by her example, plunged upon the man and tore the letter
from his hand and opened it before his eyes.
It happened to be a very windy morning, and when he opened the letter an
inclosure, printed on much finer paper, was caught into the air and went
down the wind. Triplet followed in kangaroo leaps, like a dancer making a
flying exit.
The postman cried on all good citizens for help. Some collected and
laughed at him; Mrs. Triplet explaining that they were poor, and could
not pay half a crown for the freight of half an ounce of paper. She held
him convulsively until Triplet reappeared.
That gentleman on his return was ostentatiously calm and dignified. "You
are, or were, in perturbation about half a crown," said he. "There, sir,
is a twenty-pound note, oblige me with nineteen pounds seventeen
shillings and sixpence. Should your resources be unequal to such a
demand, meet me at the 'Green Cat and Brown Frogs,' after dinner, when
you shall receive your half-crown, and drink another upon the occasion of
my sudden accession to unbounded affluence.


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