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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Novel Notes"

'Who
locked you in?' I asked.
"'I did, sir,' she replied; 'I locked myself in, and pushed the key out
under the door. I had to do it, or I should have gone off with those
beastly soldiers.'
"'I hope I haven't inconvenienced you, sir,' she added, stepping out; 'I
left the lunch all laid.'"
* * * * *
Amenda's passion for soldiers was her one tribute to sentiment. Towards
all others of the male sex she maintained an attitude of callous
unsusceptibility, and her engagements with them (which were numerous)
were entered into or abandoned on grounds so sordid as to seriously shock
Ethelbertha.
When she came to us she was engaged to a pork butcher--with a milkman in
reserve. For Amenda's sake we dealt with the man, but we never liked
him, and we liked his pork still less. When, therefore, Amenda announced
to us that her engagement with him was "off," and intimated that her
feelings would in no way suffer by our going elsewhere for our bacon, we
secretly rejoiced.
"I am confident you have done right, Amenda," said Ethelbertha; "you
would never have been happy with that man."
"No, mum, I don't think I ever should," replied Amenda. "I don't see how
any girl could as hadn't the digestion of an ostrich."
Ethelbertha looked puzzled. "But what has digestion got to do with it?"
she asked.


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