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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Novel Notes"

The dog,
who ought, you'd think, to know a durned sight more about 'em than she
does, is sure they will if you only bark loud enough.
"'Then again, have you ever been made mad by cats screeching in the
night, and jumped out of bed and opened the window and yelled at them?
Did they ever budge an inch for that, though you shrieked loud enough to
skeer the dead, and waved your arms about like a man in a play? Not
they. They've turned and looked at you, that's all. "Yell away, old
man," they've said, "we like to hear you: the more the merrier." Then
what have you done? Why, you've snatched up a hair-brush, or a boot, or
a candlestick, and made as if you'd throw it at them. They've seen your
attitude, they've seen the thing in your hand, but they ain't moved a
point. They knew as you weren't going to chuck valuable property out of
window with the chance of getting it lost or spoiled. They've got sense
themselves, and they give you credit for having some. If you don't
believe that's the reason, you try showing them a lump of coal, or half a
brick, next time--something as they know you _will_ throw. Before you're
ready to heave it, there won't be a cat within aim.
"'Then as to judgment and knowledge of the world, why dogs are babies to
'em. Have you ever tried telling a yarn before a cat, sir?'
"I replied that cats had often been present during anecdotal recitals of
mine, but that, hitherto, I had paid no particular attention to their
demeanour.


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