I selected my present
mistress on the recommendation of a gentleman friend of mine who had
formerly lived with her. He said she was an excellent caterer. The only
reason he had left her was that she expected him to be in at ten each
night, and that hour didn't fit in with his other arrangements. It made
no difference to me--as a matter of fact, I do not care for these
midnight _reunions_ that are so popular amongst us. There are always too
many cats for one properly to enjoy oneself, and sooner or later a rowdy
element is sure to creep in. I offered myself to her, and she accepted
me gratefully. But I have never liked her, and never shall. She is a
silly old woman, and bores me. She is, however, devoted to me, and,
unless something extra attractive turns up, I shall stick to her.
"'That, my dear, is the story of my life, so far as it has gone. I tell
it you to show you how easy it is to be "taken in." Fix on your house,
and mew piteously at the back door. When it is opened run in and rub
yourself against the first leg you come across. Rub hard, and look up
confidingly. Nothing gets round human beings, I have noticed, quicker
than confidence. They don't get much of it, and it pleases them. Always
be confiding. At the same time be prepared for emergencies.
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