At any rate, I shall do nothing of the
kind till my return from New Haven.
I am the more willing to leave home as my affairs are made a town talk.
My mamma persuades me to disregard it; but how can I rise superior to
"the world's dread laugh, which scarce the firm philosopher can scorn"?
Pray remember me to Mr. Sumner. You are happy, my friend, in the love
and esteem of a worthy man, but more happy still in deserving them.
Adieu.
ELIZA WHARTON.
LETTER XLV.
TO THE SAME.
HARTFORD.
I have returned to the once smiling seat of maternal affection; but I
find not repose and happiness even here.
In the society of my amiable friends at New Haven, I enjoyed every thing
that friendship could bestow; but rest to a disturbed mind was not in
their power.
I was on various parties of pleasure, and passed through different
scenes of amusement; but with me they have lost their charms. I relished
them not as formerly.
Mrs. Richman advises me to write to Mr. Boyer, and I have concluded to
act accordingly. If it answer no other purpose, it will be a relief to
my mind. If he ever felt for me the tenderness and regard which he
professed, I think they cannot be entirely obliterated. If they still
remain, perhaps I may rekindle the gentle flame, and we may both be
happy. I may at least recall his esteem, and that will be a satisfaction
to my conscious mind.
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