Want of success in this point mortifies me extremely, as
it is the first time I ever failed. Besides, I am apprehensive that she
is prepossessed in favor of the other swain, the clerical lover, whom I
have mentioned to you before. The chord, therefore, upon which I play
the most, is the dissimilarity of their dispositions and pleasures. I
endeavor to detach her from him, and disaffect her towards him; knowing
that, if I can separate them entirely, I shall be more likely to succeed
in my plan. Not that I have any thoughts of marrying her myself; that
will not do at present. But I love her too well to see her connected
with another for life. I must own myself a little revengeful, too, in
this affair. I wish to punish her friends, as she calls them, for their
malice towards me, for their cold and negligent treatment of me whenever
I go to the house. I know that to frustrate their designs of a
connection between Mr. Boyer and Eliza would be a grievous
disappointment. I have not yet determined to seduce her, though, with
all her pretensions to virtue, I do not think it impossible. And if I
should, she can blame none but herself, since she knows my character,
and has no reason to wonder if I act consistently with it. If she will
play with a lion, let her beware of his paw, I say. At present, I wish
innocently to enjoy her society; it is a luxury which I never tasted
before.
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