"You have a very bad cold!" said I.
"I ain't!" he retorted gloomily.
"Yet you sniff very loud."
"Con-sti-tootional!" quoth he. "My feyther done it afore me, an' 'is
feyther afore 'im, 'an 'is feyther afore 'im an'--but wot of it, my
chap? Can't a cove sniff if so minded?"
"Certainly!" I answered.
"I ain't said nothink to you about wallerin' in that theer 'ay--'ave
I? Very well! Why can't you let a man sniff in peace?"
"Very well," said I, "sniff!"
"I will!" said he and immediately did so, louder than ever.
"Astonishing!" said I.
"A cove can sniff without a cold if so be 't is 'is natur' so to do,
can't 'e?"
"So I perceive."
"An' 't is a free country an' such so bein', a man's at liberty to
sniff or no, an' no offence give or took, ain't 'e? Very well, then!"
"Very well indeed!" I nodded. "I have never heard a man sniff better
or louder--"
"You leave my sniffin' alone an' I'll leave you alone--"
"I hope you will," said I.
"Well, I ain't so sure as I will; you wags your chin too much to
please me--an' let me tell ye, bold an' p'inted, I don't like the cock
o' your eye! So s'pose you stand on your pins--"
"Well," I answered, stretching myself more comfortably, "let us
suppose so--what then?"
"Why, then, my covey, I'll knock ye off your pins again--prompt an'
j'yful!"
"Under those circumstances I much prefer to remain as I am."
"Why, then you're a weevil--a worm, ah--an' what's more, a weevily
worm at that, an' I spits on ye!"
Here, perceiving that he was about to put his heinous threat into
execution, I arose.
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