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Lincoln, Joseph Crosby, 1870-1944

"Shavings"

The more I sizzled and sputtered and tried to get out of
that spider, the more he poked up the fire. I declare, I never
knew lyin' was such a job! When I see how easy and natural it
comes to some folks I feel kind of ashamed to think what a poor
show I made at it. Well, Sam kept pokin' the fire and heatin' me
up till I got desperate and swore I stole the money instead of
findin' it. And that was hoppin' out of the fryin' pan INTO the
fire," he drawled reflectively.
Charles smiled. "Captain Sam said you told him you took the money
to buy a suit of clothes with," he suggested.
"Eh? Did I? Sho! That was a real bright idea of mine, wasn't it?
A suit of clothes. Humph! Wonder I didn't say I bought shoe laces
or collar buttons or somethin'. . . . Sho! . . . Dear, dear!
Well, they say George Washin'ton couldn't tell a lie and I've
proved I can't either; only I've tried to tell one and I don't
recollect that he ever did that. . . . Humph! . . . A suit of
clothes. . . . Four hundred dollars. . . . Solomon in all his
glory would have looked like a calico shirt and a pair of overalls
alongside of me, eh? . . . Humph!"
Phillips shook his head. "Nevertheless, Jed," he declared, "I
can't understand why you did it and I never--never shall forget it.
Neither will Ruth. She will tell you so to-morrow."
Jed was frightened.


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