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Lincoln, Joseph Crosby, 1870-1944

"Shavings"

'I thought he was in state's
prison,' says he. 'What do you mean?' says I. And then he told
me. 'By godfreys,' says I, 'if you can fix it so's I can prove
that's true I'll give you the biggest order you ever got in this
store.' ''Twon't be any trouble to prove it,' says he. 'All
you've got to do is look up his record in Middleford.' And I've
looked it up. Yes, sir-ee, I've looked it up. Ho, ho!"
Jed, white and shaking, made one more attempt.
"It's all a lie," he cried. "Of course it is. Besides, if you
knew so much why have you been waitin' all this time before you
told it? If you found out all this--this pack of rubbish in
January why did you wait till March before you told it? Humph!
That's pretty thin, I--"
Phineas interrupted.
"Shut up!" he ordered. "Why did I wait? Well, now, Shavin's,
seein' it's you and I love you so, I'll tell you. At first I was
for runnin' right out in the street and hollerin' to all hands to
come and hear the good news about Sam Hunniwell's pet. And then
thinks I: 'Hold on! don't be in any hurry. There's time enough.
Just wait and see what happens. A crook that steals once is liable
to try it again. Let's wait and see.' And I waited, and-- He,
he, he!--he has tried it again. Eh, Shavin's?"
Jed was speechless. Babbitt, looking like a triumphantly vicious
Bantam rooster, crowed on.


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