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Lincoln, Joseph Crosby, 1870-1944

"Shavings"

"
"That's Hosea's indicator. Suppose I've got somethin' on--on what
complimentary folks like you would call my mind. Suppose, same as
'twas yesterday mornin', I was tryin' to decide whether or not I'd
have a piece of steak for supper. I gave--er--Elisha's whirlagig
here a spin and when the black end stopped 'twas p'intin' straight
up. That meant yes. If it had p'inted down, 'twould have meant no."
"Suppose it had pointed across--half way between yes and no?"
"That would have meant that--er--what's-his-name--er--Deuteronomy
there didn't know any more than I did about it."
This time Phillips did laugh. "So you had the steak," he observed.
Jed's lip twitched. "I bought it," he drawled. "I got so far all
accordin' to prophecy. And I put it on a plate out in the back
room where 'twas cold, intendin' to cook it when supper time came."
"Well, didn't you?"
"No-o; you see, 'twas otherwise provided. That everlastin' Cherub
tomcat of Taylor's must have sneaked in with the boy when he
brought the order from the store. When I shut the steak up in the
back room I--er--er--hum. . . ."
"You did what?"
"Eh? . . . Oh, I shut the cat up with it. I guess likely that's
the end of the yarn, ain't it?"
"Pretty nearly, I should say. What did you do to the cat?"
"Hum. . . . Why, I let him go. He's a good enough cat, 'cordin' to
his lights, I guess.


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