Thus by degrees she was attaining not earthly
happiness, but a grave and pensive composure.
Yet across it gusts of earthly grief came sweeping often; but these she
hid till she was herself again.
To her mother and brother she was kinder, sweeter, and dearer, if
possible, than ever. They looked on her as a saint; but she knew better;
and used to blush with honest shame when they called her so. "Oh don't,
pray don't, she would say with unaffected pain. "Love me as if I was an
angel; but do not praise me; that turns my eyes inward and makes me see
myself. I am not a Christian yet, nor anything like one."
Returning one day from her duties very tired, she sat down to take off
her bonnet in her own room, and presently heard snatches of an argument
that made her prick those wonderful little ears of hers which could
almost hear through a wall. The two concluding sentences were a key to
the whole dialogue.
"Why disturb her?" said Mrs. Dodd. "She is getting better of 'the
Wretch;' and my advice is, say nothing: what harm can that do?"
"But then it is so unfair, so ungenerous, to keep anything from the poor
girl that may concern her.
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