Well (loud) I _be_ pretty close, I don't deny it; but
(confidentially) my missus beats me. I look twice at a penny; but she
looks twice at both sides of a halfpenny before she will let him go: and
it's her being so close have raised all this here bobbery; and so I told
her; says I, 'Missus, if you would but leave an end of a dip, or a paring
of cheese, about your cupboard, she would hide at home; but you hungers
her so, you drives her afield right on atop o' my roots.' 'Oh,' says my
missus, 'if _I_ was to be as wasteful as _you_ be, where should _we_ be
come Christmas day? Every tub on its own bottom,' says she; 'man and wife
did ought to keep theirselves to theirselves, she to the house, and I to
the garden.' 'So be it, says I, 'and by the same toaken, don't let me
catch them "Ns" in my garden again, or I'll spoil their clucking and
scratching,' says I, 'for I'll twist their dalled necks: ye've got a
yard,' says I, 'and a roost, and likewise a turnpike, you and your
poultry: so bide at home the lot, and don't come a scratching o' me,' and
with that we had a ripput; and she took one of her pangs; and then I
behoved to knock under; and that is allus the way if ye quarrel with
woman-folk; they are sworn to get the better of ye by hook or by crook.
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