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Reade, Charles, 1814-1884

"Hard Cash"

You
will only rile him, and get the rough side of his tongue."
Here, then, the conference drew towards a close. But a Wadham man, who
was one of the ambassadors, interposed. "Stop a minute," said he. "Mr.
Hardie, I have not the honour to be acquainted with you, and I am not
here to annoy you, nor to be affronted by you. But the university has a
stake in this race, and the university expostulates through us--through
me, if you like."
"Who have I the honour?" inquired Hardie, assuming politeness sudden and
vast.
"Badham, of Wadham."
"Badham o' Wadham? Hear that, ye tuneful nine! Well, Badham o' Wadham,
you are no acquaintance of mine; so you may possibly not be a fool. Let
us assume by way of hypothesis that you are a man of sense, a man of
reason as well as of rhyme. Then follow my logic. Hardie of Exeter is a
good man in a boat when he has not got a headache.
"When he has got a headache, Hardie of Exeter is not worth a straw in a
boat.
"Hardie of Exeter has a headache now.
"Ergo, the university would put the said Hardie into a race, headache and
all, and reduce defeat to a certainty.


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