She must have been paler too than usual, for though she cannot be
called dark she almost looked like a brunette.
I racked my brain to guess what could have happened. Was it anything
connected with Kromitzki; and if so, what could it be? Perhaps my
money is in danger. The deuce take the money! All I possess may
perish, rather than that Aniela should have a moment of anxiety. I
must get at the bottom of the mystery to-morrow. I am quite sure it
has to do with Kromitzki; but what can he have done? He has not sold
another Gluchow, for the simple reason that there is not another to
sell.
Berlin, 5 September.
I am at Berlin, because escaping from Vienna I had to go somewhere. I
could not go to Ploszow, because she will be there. I was so convinced
that no human power could tear me from her that the very idea of
separation seemed to me a wild impossibility. But no! It is always the
unexpected that happens, for I have gone away, and everything is at
an end. I am at Berlin. I feel as if I had an engine in my head, the
wheels of which keep whirring incessantly. This hurts me; but I am
not mad. I know everything and remember everything. My physician was
right; it is only weak heads that come to grief. Besides, it could not
happen to me, because insanity sometimes means happiness.
6 September.
Yet at times I fancy that my brain is bursting bounds.
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