These three
things being so, if he fell before I could--with the best will in
the world--set myself right with him, so much the better for me.
That was my gain--the fortune of war, the turn of the dice. But
if I lay hid, and took time for my ally, and being here while he
still stood, though tottering, waited until he fell, what of my
honour then? What of the grand words I had said to Mademoiselle
at Agen? I should be like the recreant in the old romance, who,
lying in the ditch while the battle raged, came out afterwards
and boasted of his courage.
And yet the flesh was weak. A day, twenty-four hours, two days,
might make the difference between life and death, love and death;
and I wavered. But at last I settled what I would do. At noon
the next day, the time at which I should have presented myself if
I had not heard this news, at that time I would still present
myself. Not earlier; I owed myself the chance. Not later; that
was due to him.
Having so settled it, I thought to rest in peace. But with the
first light I was awake, and it was all I could do to keep myself
quiet until I heard Frison stirring.
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