Had that been daily before my eyes,
to remind me of all your worth,--of the generosity with which
you, a ripe and wise character, received me to the privileges
of equal friendship; of the sincerity with which you reproved
and the love with which you pardoned my faults; of how much
you taught me, and bore with from me,--it would have softened
the flint of my heart, and I should have relaxed from my
isolation.
'How shall I apologize for feelings which I now recognize as
having been so cold, so bitter and unjust? I can only say
I have suffered greatly, till the tone of my spirits seems
destroyed. Since I have been at leisure to realize how very
ill I have been, under what constant pain and many annoyances
I have kept myself upright, and how, if I have not done
my work, I have learned my lesson to the end, I should be
inclined to excuse myself for every fault, except this neglect
and ingratitude against friends. Yet, if you can forgive, I
will try to forgive myself, and I do think I shall never so
deeply sin again.'
Yet, though thus frank to own to herself and to her peers her errors,
Margaret cherished a trust in her powers, a confidence in her destiny,
and an ideal of her being, place and influence, so lofty as to be
extravagant.
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