It can never defend
itself at the moment, it is so surprised. There is no defence
but to strive for an equable temper of courageous submission,
of obedient energy, that shall make assault less easy to the
foe.
'_This_ is the dart within the heart, as well as I can tell
it:--At moments, the music of the universe, which daily I am
upheld by hearing, seems to stop. I fall like a bird when the
sun is eclipsed, not looking for such darkness. The sense of
my individual law--that lamp of life--flickers. I am repelled
in what is most natural to me. I feel as, when a suffering
child, I would go and lie with my face to the ground, to sob
away my little life.'
* * * * *
'In early years, when, though so frank as to the thoughts of
the mind, I put no heart confidence in any human being, my
refuge was in my journal. I have burned those records of my
youth, with its bitter tears, and struggles, and aspirations.
Those aspirations were high, and have gained only broader
foundations and wider reach. But the leaves had done their
work. For years to write there, instead of speaking, had
enabled me to soothe myself; and the Spirit was often my
friend, when I sought no other.
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