It would destroy
the sense of personal dignity and responsibility.
Persuasive measures will then accomplish more than all the efforts of the
parent to prevent an unhappy union, by threats of disinheritance and
expulsion from home. In this way parents often extend their interference to
most unreasonable extremes, and to the great detriment of the interests and
happiness of their children; while at the same time they often bring
disgrace and misery upon their own heads and home. They set themselves up
as the choosers of companions for their children, presuming that they
should passively submit to their selection whatever it may be. This is
taking away the free moral agency of the child, making no account of his
taste, judgment, or affections; and forming between him and the object thus
chosen a mere outward union, with no inward affinity.
In such cases it most generally happens that parents are prompted by
sinister motives and a false pride, as that of wealth, honor, and social
position. They do not consult the law of suitability, but that of
availability. They think that wealth and family distinction will compensate
for the absence of all moral and amiable qualities, that if outward
circumstances are favorable, there need not be inward adaptation of
character. Hence they will dictate to their children, make their marriage
alliance a mere business matter, and demand implicit obedience on the
penalty of expulsion from the parental home, and disinheritance forever.
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